The joy in you

To Dad


Are you looking for the joy you lost?
That most human of pleasures,
The one that I treasure
Like the sun,
But would gladly share with anyone
For the price of a smile.

It’s strange,
I still remember a joyful you.
Do you remember the same person?
And if you answer yes,
Is there a vestige left,
A trace of that man who would smile and laugh
At the simplest of things?

Or has your heart been parsed,
Censored, and sanitized?
Do you fear being scrutinized, and criticized?
Because that is what I see in your eyes,
Like an inmate intimidated,
Unable to speak his heart
For fear his keeper will crush him
For saying anything,
Expressing anything
Worth anything:
A fear of feeling joy.

Do you fear endearment?
Because I know it hurts when your love,
Given to others for free,
Is thrown away.

When we value love like no other
Only to see it squandered like water
Down the drain of a one-hour shower,
We feel forlorn,
heart torn,
Our love wasted.

Cliché to say,
But there really is more joy in the giving of love,
Than in the receiving of love.
Joy and love always work hand in hand,
Not always heart to heart.

Trust that joy is in you,
Just as melatonin is in you.
Trust your body can still produce it,
And it will react with warmth and brightness,
Given the time,
Given the space,
Given the exposure
To the sun,
And to love.

Do not invest your trust in trite.
Do not believe it is OK to invite
The demons in your heart at night.
Try sincerity instead,
And feel your heart rise from the dead.
Turn your television off.
Turn your grandchildren on.
Take them fishing.
Fill the air with story and song.
Give love and feel joy.
Feel joy and give more love.

Tell your keeper to keep to himself,
To throw you the keys to the shackles
He has chained to your heart for a quarter century.
Walk beyond the prison wall
And feel your insecurities fall,
One by one.

Sure as I am the sun will shine,
The joy you seek is the joy you will find.